Another Great Sucking Sound

"Recently an airport security guy confiscated my mostly empty 4 ounce container." reports Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams of the fate of  a  shampoo tube that " contained obviously less than 1 ounce of liquid. Apparently the empty portion of the container posed a threat... the airport confiscated my 3 ounces of nothing so that I couldn’t use that nothing to blow up the plane... I considered reasoning with the TSA guy... But one look in his eyes told me that thinking wasn’t his sport." Until Adams' epiphany , the threat of  terrorist vacuum smuggling went unrealized by the TSA.

Who knows how many  Islamofascists bent on assembling small vacuums into voids capable of imploding  jumbo jets have already boarded undetected ?  Until airport vacuum detectors  materialize ,TSA will display these signs to stop travellers from even thinking about vacuum tube laptops, empty thermos bottles and  unspecified quantities of nothing :

In a related development . TSA's allies in New Braunfels have banned  plastic containers smaller than five  fluid ounces from  Texas watercraft to deter boaters from consuming Jello shots. TSA is believed to be studying  the application of the 3-4-5-0 ounce Dilbert Rule to pager batteries and Congressional pages carried aboard the Boston-Washington Air Shuttle.